Midlife Reflections: The Power of Community
It was years ago. My then-husband and I were walking down a busy New York City sidewalk, caught up in the hustle and flow of the city. Couples, families—everyone seemed to have someone by their side. We paused at a corner, deciding which direction would take us to one of our favorite music venues. It was cold, and I stepped closer to soak in his warmth as he deliberated. After a moment, he said we needed to turn around and retrace our steps—we had gone too far.
Just then, we both noticed something that made us stop—a woman, likely in her 60s, sitting alone in a dimly lit corner of a restaurant, staring straight ahead. Her expression was somber, and the weight of her emotion was palpable. We both sighed, as if we could feel her grief, or maybe her loneliness. Everything in me said she longed for someone beside her. We exchanged a brief glance, filled with gratitude for having each other, before the restaurant doors closed. I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed mine back.
Connection, community, and belonging weren’t things we often thought about. Yet that fleeting moment, nearly 20 years ago, has stayed with me. I don't think he’s forgotten it either.
Now, at midlife, I find myself reflecting on the love, heartache, life, and loss that have shaped me. Over time, my circle has shifted as people come and go—some remain, while others drift away. Friendships, loves, family... We change, and not everyone can navigate those changes with us. They change too, and sometimes, we find ourselves on different paths. And so, we let go.
One thing has become clear to me as I embrace this phase of life: what we crave most is community. We want to be accepted for who we truly are—the parts of us that carry old wounds like self-doubt, jealousy, or fear, and the parts that have grown stronger, healthier, more healed. It's through connection and community that we find support during life’s darkest moments and share in the joys along the way.
For so long, we’ve focused on achieving, acquiring, and performing. We graduated, built careers, earned promotions, got married, raised children, and diligently planned for the future—financial stability, retirement, and all the rest.
But now, for many of us, midlife is about rediscovering who we are beyond those roles. It’s about building a community that stands with us not just in moments of celebration, but through the storms. It’s about creating connections with people who see us, with all our scars and strengths, and love us just the same.
As I reflect, I think about the many physicians I’ve worked with over the years. You’ve dedicated so much of your life to caring for others, often putting your own needs aside. But now, at midlife and mid-career, it’s time to reconnect with yourself and build the community that truly supports you. If you're navigating this transition, feeling the weight of isolation, or seeking to deepen your most meaningful relationships, know that you don’t have to do it alone. Reach out, and together we’ll begin your journey toward a more intentional and fulfilling next chapter.